Chapel Hill, NC
Hello 7 year reset, or what is perhaps more commonly referred to as a “seven year itch!” Why the number 7? Well, that’s a rabbit hole for another time. Today’s adventure is a reflection on what led me to break up with my job and from the path society had laid out for me and instead to follow my heart.
The desire for a life reset came nagging through my intuition, eventually becoming way more than what I could simply term a catchy phrase and laugh off. In fact, the pull for change became so annoying that I had to find a new way to deal with it, instead of just staying busy. So, with thanks to @starlag12 and @J_CameronLive for offering a tool to help obtain clarity, I began to write three full pages of thought streams every morning. This is not traditional journaling and it does not even entail attempts to make the writing eloquent. Rather, this process is all about generating a spontaneous flow and cleansing established thought patterns. By allowing a direct channel from my mind onto the paper, I was able to bypass the analytical brain and unproductive rumination cycles. Although analytical processes definitely have their shining place in effectiveness, what I needed at this point in time was a way to reach my inner voice. After a few weeks, the clarity became so strong that the consequence involved a happily welcomed confidence as well. I knew what I had to do.
Both my manager and boss at work had been exceptional champions for me and the thought of letting them and the team down made my stomach queasy. Yet, I felt strongly that if one really chooses the path to follow intuition and inner callings that it would likely entail letting people down along the way. Therefore, I would just have to find a way to do it gracefully. My meeting with my boss was pushed up to Monday morning. So there it was. It was Friday and I was going to resign on Monday. The two weekend days only brought more clarity.
The details of what led up to the original restless state of mind include aversion to conformity, frustration with the politics of the bureaucratic corporation I was involved, and other resistance you can imagine. Yet, ultimately, it was a re-surfacing innate feeling that this was not all my life was meant to be, that I have great talents that are not being used and that there really is a place in the world where these talents can both make a great positive impact to better the world while simultaneously generating personal autonomy and financial freedom in the process.
Now, it must be stated that the job I had was dynamic, mostly interesting, and the leadership with which I was aligned offered empowerment and cared for my well-being. This is part of what made the decision so tough. I didn’t just have a good job, I had a customized job at a leading healthcare company. And leadership seemed to mostly like me!
But, perhaps like the 7 year itch in relationships, sometimes the pull for change can occur so strongly that it can bring you to break up with situations that are even great ones, not just solely bad ones. So I changed the background of my cell phone screen to a picture of the ocean and the phrase “listen to the quiet pull from within” (great image by @heyamberrae) and began to believe in myself in a whole new way – and believe in my whole life too.
What’s next is mine to create. I’ve got a lot to do. Anchors aweigh.